Fear vs. hope? Can’t we ever talk?

It seems that each of us lives either in a world of fear, or in one built on possibilities. Once I got that through my skull, it all made sense.

We start out filled with hope. Anything is possible. Life is good. Change is fascinating and filled with options, with learning, with new people and new experiences.

As we age, we start to become more afraid. We learn that danger lurks in unexpected places. We have things to protect — property, a family, savings, a career, a reputation. And we discover how scary it is when things change. We see how vulnerable we are. We try hard to hold onto what we have, even if it means not risking, never dreaming.

When we’re young, all those new ways are full of opportunity.

“Maybe I don’t know everything.”

“Maybe that guy’s a little like me.”

“Maybe I can trust him.”

“Maybe things will work out well for us.”

When we’re older, new ways get weird, uncomfortable, freakish, fraught with the unknown and the unknowable.

“Maybe that guy’s gonna take my wallet.”

“Maybe he’ll screw me over.”

“Things are fine the way they are. But, really, they used to be way, way better. We should make it all like it used to be. Then it’ll all be okay again, and I can be — hopeful.”

History — and our own personal experience — tells us that this young/old thing translates pretty directly into liberal/conservative. I guess the difference might be that young conservatives are just liberals who get mentally “older” early in their lives, and start thinking like their dads. And old liberals are those folks who determined not to let their careers and possessions make them — possessive. And conservative.

That general idea seems to be borne out by recent scientific studies, which is another post entirely. But I think it’s pretty safe to say that Conservatives and their good friends the Reactionaries are driven chiefly by fear of loss and fear of change.

Because they’re so fearful, Conservatives run everything from a state of pessimism. That’s why they want society to go back to a more manageable, more understandable state. Before “the immigrants took all the good jobs.” Before “the gays wanted to be like us.” Before “people questioned God and the church.” Back “when people were proud to fight and die for their country.”

Is it any wonder Conservatives are The Party of “No“? That they don’t like other people taking away their guns, their income, their right to be pissed off at the fools who think differently? They can’t understand how a government could be anything but tough (like the police and the army) and bureaucratic — certainly not helpful and nurturing. (“Nurturing? Good God, these socialists love words like that. ‘Nurturing.’ ‘Nuance.’ Shit. Why don’t they just take their arugula and go live in France?”)

Because they’re hopeful, Liberals run everything from a state of optimism. They think, “Maybe those immigrants aren’t so bad.” “Maybe it’ll be okay if gay people get married.” “Maybe everyone can decide for themselves if they want to believe in a religion.” “Maybe those other countries’ people have their own point of view. Let’s find out what it is before we bomb them all to death.”

Is it any wonder Liberals want to help people and try new ideas, but aren’t always very organized or realistic? They don’t like people who have a narrow, dogmatic view of the world because that closes off a Liberal’s options. They think funding for social programs will work out okay, one way or another.

So how do we ever fix this and get these two sets of people with diametrically opposed basic views of life to….talk?

First, I guess we could all acknowledge that we each have some of the other’s point of view in us.

Many liberals get pretty damned conservative when we’re attacked, like we did after 9/11. Lots of conservatives are pretty damned innovative when it comes to business (okay, sometimes to less than wonderful ends). And they do give a lot of money to a lot of charities.

Second, we could acknowledge that we need each other.

Fellow liberals, we do need armies and police forces to protect us. We do need to know how we can actually pay for programs our society needs. We do want to preserve our culture, our history and the best of our institutions. Conservatives, we do need fresh ideas, even if they look a little crazy at first. We do need to take care of our own. (And that means you when you get old or sick. Because you’re not working on Wall Street, lady, you’re working at Wal-Mart.)

Third, we can stop exaggerating and even lying at every freakin’ opportunity.

Obama is not Hitler, or the anti-Christ, okay? He’s just a guy you don’t agree with, but who a lot of people voted for. George Bush was not an actual moron. Just incompetent, with a lot of advisors who we don’t agree with but who (dammit) a lot people voted for. Health care reform is not going to create Death Panels or throw grandma under the bus. Neither will it create Utopia. Acorn is not a mass conspiracy. Neither was Katrina.

So let’s chill.

And let’s tell the screaming heads on television to shut up for five minutes. Give us a rest. A little rest so we can talk.

But — as I try to figure out where this all could possibly lead, I know it’s just my liberal optimism at work. The fear-driven culture isn’t going away. Beck and Limbaugh and Hannity and Palin and Armey are going to keep those flames fanned. Because fear begets anger. And anger begets action. We liberals can be as hopeful as we want — while those fearful, angry, gun-toting throngs head toward the mid-term elections.